I think we can all agree how wonderful and talented Stephen King is. If you can’t, I’m pretty sure you’ve stumbled onto the wrong website. For those who do agree, I think it’s evident that he can create beloved characters – Stu, Franny, Ben, Bev, Danny, Jake, etc. However, he is just as likely to create characters with outcomes or trials so horrifying, you would never, ever want to be them. This week’s top ten list (as hosted by The Broke and the Bookish): characters you’d never want to trade places with (because who in their right mind would ever want to be Wendy Torrance – who is not even on this list). Because I feel like I haven’t done an ode to Stephen King in a while (well, since yesterday), I thought I would limit my list to women who occur in the Stephen King universe. There are an awful lot to choose from.
In no particular order, except – and please take this as your warning – number one has a SPOILER. Skip it if you haven’t (and are planning to) read Bag of Bones.
10. Jessie Burlingame (Gerald’s Game). Always use the fake handcuffs. Always. And don’t antagonize your husband if it looks like he could be susceptible to a heart attack.
09. Nadine Cross (The Stand). You know it’s bad when you’d rather be thrown off a building than be with your boyfriend anymore.
08. Donna Camber (Cujo). Think twice before you get a puppy. Also, always pack some extra water in the car.
07. Susan Norton (‘Salem’s Lot). You know that cute writer that just moved back to town – DO NOT PURSUE HIM.
06. Ilse Freemantle (Duma Key). But she was just being a good daughter…
05. Becky DeMuth (In the Tall Grass). Let’s just say she eats something that doesn’t sit well.
04. Sammy Bushey (Under the Dome). Her whole existence is unfortunate. It probably started when she married that meth cooker.
03. Dolores Claiborne (Dolores Claiborne). Sometimes you just have to get it done. And she does, but I wouldn’t want to be in that position.
02. Carrietta White (Carrie). I believe this one is self-explanatory.
01. Mattie Devore (Bag of Bones). SPOILER: I sobbed when Mattie was shot and killed. I rarely cry, but her whole life was just so fucking sad – the trailer, the husband, the child, the in-laws…
So which character would you never want to be? Bonus points if you choose one from Stephen King’s literary universe.
Image via Parade (Michael Edwards)
flannel and folklore 
Love this list. And I so agree with you on no 1. That was heartbreaking!
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Thanks! I still cry every time I read it. Which, to be fair, isn’t that often, but it is my favorite of his novels.
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I love it too. But it seems to be one of those novels people often dislikes.
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Love the way you approached this week’s list! I haven’t read any of these titles but I do know of Carrie and yeah, definitely would not want to trade places with her xP
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I figured I would change it up a bit. 🙂
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Being Wendy Torrance would definitely suck.
I would not want to be Rhea of the Cöos, either. Nasty, nasty woman. Yuck.
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Personally, if I was Wendy, I wouldn’t have stayed in the marriage so long, but still, to be stuck out in the middle of nowhere with your psychotic husband would be difficult.
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I love what you did with this week’s prompt. Such a unique approach, and fun to read for a SK fan 🙂
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked to. It helps that there are so many to choose from. 😉
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Rose Daniels. Definitely.
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I can’t argue with that.
As an embarrassing side note: I read this book when I was 11 or so. I had to ask my mother what blue balls were. So Rose Madder was definitely educational for me.
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OH NOOOOOOOOOO!
I had to ask my parents what a bordello was when I was 9, or so. THANKS JUDY BLUME!
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Haha, I’m pretty sure Judy Blume taught me everything I needed to know about life.
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Woooonderful post! I haven’t read all the books, but it certainly makes the curious about the ones I haven’t gotten around to yet.
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If you haven’t: read #1, skip #5. In the Tall Grass still makes me queasy.
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I’ve read so few of these (because I’m a scaredy cat) but I totally agree with your choices. Nadine? Sammy? Mattie? Yes, yes, and yes.
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Oh my gosh, Gerald’s Game is probably the scariest SK book I have ever read – because it could SOOOOO happen!
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I would not want to live with Sue Snell’s memories, that’s for sure.
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